Lapin's art log

some art journaling!

warning: i talk a lot of nonsense! cw for blood, gore, and weird or adult themes.

related links


  • sticker pngs→drawcia
  • my side art, oc belongs to sonic0

《 go home

Date 05.30.24: cygne, sister of pitiless mercy

'I shall grant you Absolution, paid and repaid in blood.'

i'm doing my bi-yearly bloodborne playthrough and it made me nostalgic for a fandom oc i created when i first played the game back in 2015. the brainworms infected me again, so i decided to give Cygne (swan in French) a fresh coat of paint!! i'd post her original design, but frankly it was quite ugly and overly complicated (lol) so it's a little embarassing. i've fallen in love with her scarlet nun ♥ she's a member of the Executioner covenant and hates vilebloods.

an excerpt from her bio: "Cygne embraced her new role with a fervor that shocked even her fellow Executioners. Beneath her demure and devout exterior lay a violent and unyielding spirit, fueled by a divine wrath. She became known as the Scarlet Nun, a title that reflected both her crimson habit and the blood she spilled in the name of justice."

i will work on coding a layout and page for her in my oc notebook, but i'd like to draw her some more new art and possibly trade/commission some!!!

i was streaming while i was sketching her new ref sheet to some of my art friends, and i got asked: "lapin, why are most of your characters crazy or murderous women?" LOL. it probably does reveal quite a bit of myself...a lot of my female characters are pious, demure/shy, or even unhinged women that are written with horror influences. they can be murderous or obssessed with revenge. they have a rage burning deep within them. i like drawing and writing them that way, it's a little cathartic. i was raised Catholic, expected to be prim and proper and devout--to always defer to God and to men.

in a way, i have a rage burning deep within me, too. i like express my feelings about my traumas, religion, the patriarchy, the (my) female experience with.... art and writing. it's a little silly, i guess, to create and draw stories about pretty and angry women, seemingly docile or expected to be good, but so consumed with a righteous fury that they kill. i like to be pretty and good too, and i struggle with that fact as i burn inside.

WHEW! that was much deeper than expected for a mere art blog haha. i know my characters and reasonings may make some roll their eyes or cringe. but hey, i am cringe and i am free!

one day i may share my writing and more personal art works on this site....some day...

Date 04.12.24: design updates

i finally did it! i've been meaning to update charlotte's & nathaniel's designs for months (probably a year or two at this point tbh v_v) but i've been so busy with other things or just plain lazy. i'm very very pleased with how they turned out. im still attached to their original designs even though they are quite..amateur-ish, clunky and over designed. very inspired by animu and the things i was very into (trinity blood, etc) when i first designed them as a teenager.

kinda weird that they went years and years without any kind of refreshing...but even though the old designs are a little ugly to me (now), i like them because it makes me think of how far ive come in designing ^_^

take a look! (and please excuse the very old art):

vs now:

i wanted to keep some of the original charm points that i really liked, while adding some flair and functionality while ALSO simplifying. kind of a challenge but i think i suceeded! i can't wait to draw them again. i also need to commission and trade for some new art in these designs. exciting!!

Date 02.19.24: new dnd campaign

a new dnd campaign with friends...i love my woobie. (unsurprisingly, i am playing an elf again. surprisingly, it's a male!?) i will probably draw out some neat things later! being the designated #artist friend, i was tasked with the designs. it was pretty easy because inspo pics were provided. fantasy design is not my strong suit, but i had lots of fun! i designed everyone in less than two was like i was possessed. but i was just bored actually lolol, i really hate being in the car traveling for hours!

Date 01.18.24: glory

gah...i either have the time to draw and no energy, or i am energized and motivated but don't have the time to draw!! it's pain. i still have so much i want to do..but gosh, a woman can only take so much. anyways, here is a wip that will get done one day (hopefully) i'm in the process of drawing refs for my OCs that don't have anything but bios written. mostly because in a month or so, i'd like to go crazy with art trades and buying commissions. honestly most of my creative energy goes towards creating layouts and little assets for my site so i've been ignoring my oc doll house for far too long..

this is glory! she's like. a haunted doll or something. or a girl turned doll??? i can't really describe how i see her. glory isn't really a person but she's not really an object either. she's always surrounded by guts and flesh and organs because 1.) spooky aesthetic and 2.) symbolism for how women pick themselves apart until nothing remains but flesh and bone. she's actually a character i've had since late elementary school (like 20 years ago jesus) but dusted off, redesigned, and renamed. she actually started off as a sailor moon villain OC lol!

Date 12.14.23: pixel art. sozai!?

so i finally started working on a little project i've been wanting to do for a while! i dont know if any other Olds remember, but on sozai websites there were sections for sets. so you could have matching icons, buttons, laces, and dividers. i wanted to work on something that kinda encapsulates everything i like: pastel, ribbons, frills, and some small darker touches (like crosses and what not.) it's still a massive work in progress, and tbh i really like what i have done so far. but i run into this problem every time i create a design, whether it's an adopt, layout, etc. i always start with the intention of selling them or making them free use w/ credit, but i always get soooooooooo attached to what i make. it's like my lizard brain just yells MINE!!! and i dont want to share lol

anyways im still on the fence, but more likely than not i will add these to my sozai page when i have the complete set done (which i have dubbed the lovesick set) these are still WIP so i kindly ask that you dont yoink these yet :)


these are obviously WIPs:

anyways i hope to have these done in a month or so but my priority right now is zine work and zine planning (though i keep getting sidetracked by video games .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. )

Date 12.07.23: fursona: keeks!

posting from my backlog a bit but i finally got around to finishing my fursona. i made her a while ago when my friends in one of my servers were talking/sharing their fursonas but mine wasn't finished so i didn't bother sharing. but finally i had a little bit of time to throw some colors down. so tada! behold keeks!

initially i wanted to make her really cutesy (like the idealized version of myself...but tbh Milky already exists) so i decided to make her true to how i am irl. i really DO own that "born to shit, forced to wipe" shirt haha! it's my treasured lounge shirt.

anyways i gave her my mannerisms and how i dress regularly instead of putting her in something really aesthetic and cute. irl when i dress nicely, i spend the entire day thinking about wearing my pajamas...i chose the harlequin rabbit breed because i thought it was a cute play on me being mixed race. i think she may be one of the more simply designed characters i have, but i still think she's really cute. i want to draw her with some other fursonas soon. fingers crossed i have the time and energy to!💞

Date 11.17.23: dnd art: kalopsia

by some kind of divine intervention, i finally felt inspired enough to pick up my pen. i told myself "just a doodle will suffice" but i felt reinvigorated after many a kind word and message from my friends and acquaintances about my last couple of personal diary entries ^_^ ♥ (i will respond to everyone soon! finally starting to get some kind of energy back for socializing and my hobbies 💪😤

i started off doodling my dnd necromancer Kalopsia and her husband Tarathiel. i gave her a new hairdo because i wasn't feeling the straight bob anymore. i'm really pleased with how this looks so far. i tried to inject some ayami kojima goodness into it, but i think more of it will shine through when i color...i'll attempt to emulate her painting style. doodling them got me in the mood for more fantasy stuff so i might draw out some chibi party antics. i really want to draw Kalopsia interacting with Orphen (the party rogue) and Tabytha (the bard.) despite Kalopsia's emo and depressing appearance, she's quite kind and cheerful in contrast. i think it's so funny that Tabytha is the emo one, crooning emo shit LOL. she mostly does debuffs and other types of status infliction to enemies, so the mental image of a woman sing-yelling Taking Back Sunday lyrics at a bad guy until he's poisoned and green in the face makes me laugh.

anyways it's nice to indulge in my hobbies again after a rough couple of weeks!💃

Date 10.18.23: redesigning xinyi

teehee oops. i totally fell off the wagon trying to keep up with posting daily drawtober sketches. i have been doing them at least! but i've been kind of lazy when it comes to updating my logs and diaries lately. i think i may do a bulk upload of sketches instead..maybe put them in a collage or something. whatever requires the least effort LOL

anyways i've been itching to draw more of my male ocs. i was going to start working on a cutesy piece of dior with her target?friend?victim? xinyi. but i hated how it was looking...a grown man... in poofy shorts and long socks... it looks cute on a chibi but he looked ridiculous when i drew him in my regular i decided to update his look:

much better! at least to me. now i can continue drawing him getting bullied by dior >:)

i think i will go and look through my ocs and update some of the outdated designs. i struggle with wanting to have clean and rendered ref sheets but not having the time or energy for that so i will probably stick with a sketchy style for now. i think it looks okay!

Date 10.05.23: drawtober day 5> relationships

so i decided to draw hallowxtine for this one. i thought about doing a little relationship chart showcasing my paired/"shippable" ocs but got lazy immediately. maybe i will come back and visit this idea though. i think it would be really cute as pixel art!

anyways i wanted to draw my own version of Leyendecker's butterfly couple. i think this will turn out really good! i'm instantly adding this one to my list of "must render later" ^_^ i just really enjoy drawing charlotte and nathaniel together because i can do all sorts of dumb edgy catholic imagery that scratches a particular spot in my brain.

out of all my OC couples, i have drawn art of them the most. also commissioned the most art of them separately or together! (also the most nsfw but that's stuff i think i will host offsite forever..

anyways about their relationship...i always go back and forth on whether or not i want them to have a happy ending! should they be together!? or separate forever and pining...or like. dead. lol 😭 if i was a billionaire, i would just commission a studio to make a dumb anime about my dumb story, hope that it takes off, and then watch all the fanfic (canon and AU, lord knows im weak for stupid coffee shop AUs..) roll in. but that is just a delusional daydream HAHA

i doodled this really quickly on my lunch break at work so i think i'll finish the sketch when i get home. (also honestly im already over doodling from a prompt list but im gonna keep trying)

Date 10.04.23: drawtober day 34> redesign an oc im cheating a little bit hehe but i decided to actually start drawing a ref sheet for diesel. when i doodled him years ago, i never made a sheet (i didnt make one for milky either...welp, adding that to my to-do list too) i just drew a mishmash off stuff i thought was cute. white/silver hair. brown skin. edgy clothes..but i never really made a solid design.

poor diesel...if you look at his gallery on toyhouse, you can see that no one knows how to draw his hair. INCLUDING ME!! THE BIGGEST OFFENDER!!! he has like 500 different hairstyles. so i thought, hey. lapin. dummy. let's actually pick a style and stick with it! so that's what i'm attempting. mostly so i can commission handsome art of him though, honestly. i've got my eye on a few ikemen artists on skeb that im really interested in commissioning.

Date 10.03.23: drawtober day 3> oldest oc

oops i skipped this day on accident. i will come back to it later hopefully.

Date 10.02.23: drawtober day 2> new oc

day two's prompt is new oc! i was lazy and did a cop out headshot lol. this is lex (i asked my friends for names, and rissa jokingly gave the names of anti anxiety she has been formally dubbed Celexa, but Lex for short lol), a character that i didn't fact, i bought her on a whim. i saw her randomly for sale on TH and i couldnt resist...i love twintails and nurse/menhera themes so i just had to. she doesn't have a background story or anywhere for me to put her (at least not yet.) i've got to stop impulse buying designs T_T

anyways, i am looking forward to tomorrow's prompt! i'm going to draw my oldest OC, who actually was a GaiaOnline avatar back when i was in high school. what humble beginnings hehe.

i also finished up some owed art. this is a baldur's gate player character! i know nothing about the game though. she was really fun to paint :3 there's a version with a bg but i might post it in my gallery.

Date 10.01.23: drawtober!?

prompts by _bweird

every year i want to participate in drawtober! and every year i draw 1-3 completely rendered pieces before i give up because i am lazy and tired.

so this year, i decided to just do really rough sketches! i also wanted to find a prompt list that encouraged drawing every other day. and i figured, if it's OC based, i'm more likely to do it! i don't have the energy to come up with new compositions and designs every day for the entire month of halloween.

at the end of the month, i will pick out my favorite sketches with the intention on working on them more so they look nice. and possibly render them. at first i didn't want to post such rough sketches to my website...but

1.) it's my website :3c

2.) that is the point of an art log. no need to seek perfection and completion every time. my art diary is not a social media feed!

day one is favorite OC! as much as i love milky, charlotte halloween is actually my #1 girl. i really want to render this one now, but i am still working on owed art lol..

Date 09.07.23

i've been working on website assets on and off. this is for /SOTM. i realized after i added her to the layout that i accidentally left the "milky" on her headphones backwards. whoops. i'll fix it eventually, tweak some of the lines, and color it but.. for now, it's fine as it is.

i find animating SO hard! i think i'm going to spend some time this weekend studying tutorials and watching YT videos because there's a lot i want to do. i want to make some really cute sozai...but i'm having a hard time finding the energy to work on stuff lately.

i miss drawing a lot, but i've been so heavily artblocked lately.i want to finish a piece of art for my friend of her vamp oc:

of course now that i look at it on my pc monitor...i see so many mistakes lol

i'm just not satisfied with my lines, everything lately!!! ahhhhhh idk why it's so hard lately but whatever i scribble on my ipad I HATE WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1000 SUNS!!! i think i need to do a reset and draw something fun and appealing to me (i.e. something that serves very heavy kaori yuki vibes lmao) but im not feeling very inspired lately. please i need inspiration to strike me out of nowhere 🙏

Date 08.24.23: into the cringeverse

my spidersona.....i tried to make her have my likeness but i suck at art and cant do it lolol. i will probably never draw her again! but im bad at drawing my characters anyways.

Date 06.27.23: artfight prep

i've spent the past couple of weeks trying to furiously update art refs in time for art fight..but im slow........i tell myself every time that i should try and simplify my designs because:

1. i don't draw my characters a lot of the time because im lazy and they can be hard to draw

2. i feel bad when other artists draw them i feel like they are pains to draw and they're mine, how do other artists feel when they dont even have any emotional attachment to my stupid anime barbie dolls T_T

but i really love ornate and detailed designs...sometimes i worry about have an "overdesigned" sense of style for my characters because ive seen criticism towards other artists about it but idk. i just cant vibe with simple t-shirt and jeans ocs. this is why some of my other ocs stay in their dollhouse, dusty and neglected...〒.〒 i guess i should embrace my annoying taste

anyways, recently i am not so satisfied with my art. every time i reach a point to where i feel proud or even like my style, in a few weeks i will hate it again!!! i find myself going back and forth from wanting a painterly style or a smooth style...but..

im also loving my ipad and procreate, the portability and stuff but im really not liking how my line art looks. when i look at my TH gallery, i can tell exactly what art i've done via wacom cintiq or ipad. maybe its the brush im using but, on the ipad my lines seem blurry and more thick. which i hate. i love thinner, crisp lines for my own art, but maybe the issue is that i'm drawing on canvases that are way too big and when i resize them the lineart gets borked. idk i guess i will fiddle around with it more!

i want to finish up the 'meet the artist' meme thing i started but i dont have anywhere to post it but on my site, so i'll probably just stick it somewhere on /art.html

chibi me being ugly and annoying

Date 04.11.23: happy birthday to my blorbos!

happy birthday to charlotte & nathaniel!!!

last week was the birthday of my demon hunting pair!! i've had them for so long, they've haunted my brain for soooo many years and have undergone many story changes and updates. i think the current iteration is the longest lasting (for charlotte at least LOL, im planning on overhauling mr. valentine's ref to add longer hair like in this drawing and adding more victorian flourish to his outfit. & scaling back on the dracula/vampire influences i got really tired of men comparing him to lelouch lmfao :cry:) i wanted to draw a nice piece for my fictional brain-children because i really truly love them. they were first created when i was a teen, trying to navigate through typical edginess and angst, and my weird conflicted feelings with being raised catholic and sorting through a lot of the hyprocrisy and weird double standards-slash-misogyny. but uh. that's a rant for a different diary

i'm pretty happy with how this turned out. i couldnt resist putting her in a classic coord...i was inspired by looking through old kaori yuki art! (which prompted me to buy the artbook) poopy said this drawing reminds him of a perfume ad??? and now i cant unsee it LOL

drawing these two after doing art of my other ocs for so long reignited the creative spark for my mea culpa-verse so i am wanting to get the designs for the other penitent brides finalized soon!! but in the meantime, i finally got around to doodling doctor elaine beauclerc last night on the couch while watching season 4 of The Good Place. i really want to draw her with her wife, mercy corvus, so fingers crossed i maintain this good drawing energy!!

Date 03.20.23: art trade progress

bittersweet ♥

a billion years later and im finally drawing something again. this is a drawing for my friend of her oc! im having so much fun and i really like the expression i gave her. bittersweet's personality definitely drew me in (i really love cruel, unhinged villain-aligned fictional women...) i was given free reign with designing her outfit, but i wanted to keep it reminiscent of her og design, alt with fishnets. i'm trying to make it look interesting without too many crazy details (im soo guilty of this which is why i only draw my own ocs a few times)

the hair is taking me a while to shade, but im really enjoying the process. i always have a lot of fun drawing her characters!!

Date 01.09.23

a tea party in hell

i know a piece is gonna be good when i think about finishing it while im in the office ψ(`∇´)ψ
milli enjoying a cup of bloodtea and ladyfingers (well those are men's fingers tbh) im having a lot of fun working on this piece. poopy walked in the room while i was drawing it and said "woah what the heck are you drawing" LOL. im gonna live my dreams tho and draw my ~aesthetic gore~ pieces bc why not. its 2023 babyyyyy

Date 01.06.23: im dumb

me: i cant wait to work on meaningful and introspective art pieces for all of 2023
also me: oooo milky in sexy cowgirl getup

Date 01.03.23

2022's art summary! i didn't include any of the doodles or chibis. i wanted to see how many fully-rendered pieces i worked on in 2022. i did more than i thought! most things i drew were either pastel or dark, but desaturated either way. i think my style was fairly consistent. im mostly happy with last years work, but i want to do more scene illustrations instead of glamour shots/portraits.

Date 12.16.22

looking through old art and realizing i didnt draw a Hallowtine christmas pic this year!! *cry* maybe i can do it this weekend! i might redraw this picture bc i cant come up with anything new . . .this was a 30-ish minute doodle iirc, so i kinda want to redraw it with actual effort put it. but..lazy...