currently...

may 14 25

thinking about stepping away from my webrings/listings/cliques because i simply don't have it in me to keep up with them anymore 🥲 should i hand them off? let them die? hmmm...

may 14 25 pt 2

ahah...i messed up TWICE this week at work and it's only wednesday...adkfakdf im so upset T_T i guess that's what i get for trying to do other things (draw & code loool) while im in the office. lame.

apr 29 25

if i find one more split end, im going to shave my head.....!

i've tried every single freaking product and i still end up with split ends. crying. ive been trying to grow my hair as long as possible and i've been stuck at the same length for a couple of years because of these stupid split ends. i will never leave right-above-tail-bone length jail. ;_;

apr 16 25

LMFAAAAAOOOO just when i thought to myself "hey, i might finally be hitting my stride" my boss announces that she's quitting 🙃 i'm genuinely sad because i like her, but also because i still haven't *fully* completed my training. so like. who am i going to run to when i have questions!? i could always ask my peer, but it makes me feel shy, awkward, and honestly...straight up stupid since i dont have rapport built with her. i've been feeling an immense amount of anxiety since yesterday. especially now that i have to pick up a few weekly reports that my boss was responsible for. i have NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING!!!!!!!! LOL

I actually need to send off one of those reports today...I'm writing here to stall....ugh. I guess I better go and try my best x___x

apr 11 25

oh my gosh this has been the week from hell lol!!! i had to cover for my coworker because she is on vacation, so her workload + mine was crazy. ive been dead after work everyday but im proud that i still cooked healthy meals every night instead of getting takeout LOL. doesn't seem like a big deal, especially considering working mothers do all of that plus more...but im the queen of laziness. anyways, today is friday so i am DEFINITELY treating myself to taco bell tonight ( •̀ ω •́ )

i think tomorrow i will try to work on a /diary entry or a /room post and draw! i've been so busy lately i haven't done much but scroll on my phone (bad!) or play ender lilies. i want to get back to daily drawing and other "productive" hobbies. it's also been a bit since i've been able to go thrifting or to an antique mall....i've been trying to get through "When Life Gives You Tangerines" (recommended by my mom!) but it's taking me forever because i have to keep taking breaks. it's really overwhelming for me and makes me cry all the time LOL because it reminds me so much of my mom. (she literally only lives 15 minutes away but i always miss her LOL)

anyways on a more serious note...my mom is going Home™ in a few weeks with my dad, auntie, and uncle and tbh i am *terrified* that my mom and aunt will be denied entry back into the country because of this dumbass president. they are the "right" kind of minority and have been citizens for like 30 years but im still stressed over it!!! maybe im being paranoid....but you know never know with this clown ass administration.....

ALSO

he needs to die asap

apr 01 25

i hate april fool's day. anyways, im busy moping about my art rn. i feel really unskilled and undisciplined. i don't like my style or the way i color or really anything about my stuff n_n my gallery looks ~unaesthetic~ but i guess i'm judging it by a curated, social media standard. when i look at other people's galleries, i get a sense of who they are/what they like. when i look at mine..it looks stupid. idk.

i wonder what my art says about me...but maybe this is just silly and egoistic to think so hard about it. idk. maybe restructuring my art gallery here will make me feel better bc TH is just a hodgepodge of eveything

mar 27 25

my favorite part of getting a new phone is decorating it hehe

mar 20 25

forever chasing the feeling of being ten years old and watching yuna perfom the sending in kilika for the first time

mar 13 25 pt 2

>leave my govt job
>trump gets elected
>DOGE happens to govt workers
>whew! so glad i left and went to the private sector
>tariffs and trade wars
>anticipatory layoffs start happening at my current job

pls god if you are real, let someone merc all of them RIGHT NOW

mar 13 25

every time i think about how my dad stole my "i have the mental capacity of a toaster" raccoon t-shirt, i laugh. i still don't know he fits it...granted, i did order it extra large because i enjoy dressing like adam sandler when im at home but still. idk it's so funny to me. i love my dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feb 20 25

there is a guestbook comment i received a while ago that i think about often. it's one of my most favorite things someone has told me for some reason. something about it being an admirable thing that i am able to create art and characters while having a regular FT job lol. i've been enjoying my art and OC hobby for like 15+ years. i don't think i'll ever grow out of it. creating stuff solely for myself will always be one of the biggest joys in my life - no matter how "cringey" or lame or weird it seems. i'm a grown woman that still essentially plays with (anime) barbies of my own making! it's so cool. i'll never give up on my art no matter how old, tired, or "grown up" i get.

it is my sincerest wish for all you girls out there reading and looking at my site, that you continue creating and having fun, no matter what! whether it's drawing, writing, webdev, music. just keep creating! no matter how old or tired or mature you get - always try and make the time for your creative endeavors.

feb 02 25

consoomerist haul coming soon in a post to /myroom. just waiting on the perfume to arrive! then im going to clean out my vanity (i have mac lipsticks that are seriously like 8 years old that i do not use) and take pics so i can look back at my collection later.

in other news, i have drawn every day for 31 days straight. i feel accomplished but also like i want to jump off a bridge LOL. i've not seen any improvement to my art yet (well that's a lie, i think my latest diesel and xinyi art has shown that i can actually draw bishonen if i try really very hard and use a reference for once)

i kind of want to quit but i also want to make it another 30 days. after all, i am driven by spite!!!

jan 15 25

seeing someone as stoic as my dad cry so hard over his beloved doggy has been making me cry all day lol T_T

jan 09 25

i know i don't check my email often but i gotta say i LOVE when i get random emails from other women that have discovered my site. to miss nono, thank you for making my day!!!!!! (i also finally replied to you.....hopefully it wasn't a throwaway email address lul) look at this cute milky doodle she drew for me:

i love her!

dec 10 24

go figure....the thing to break me out of my art block is drawing a cutie. i love drawing girls so much...i think this is gonna turn out sooo good but i can't share it until the due date ;v;

dec 04 24

i've always known that i am not a flexible person. i don't "go with the flow" like ever. i'm one of those itinerary-needed-even-on-vacation types of people. one of the things that drives me nuts about my new work place is the lack of (strict) rules and regulations - people don't even follow the dresscode. im going crazy because there are guidelines for my job that have to be followed - well, except in this case. and that case. oh! but we need to follow them in THIS case. .......apparently i need structure and rules to thrive because as i get more comfy in my job and able to work on my own..the more unsettled i feel..
/(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

nov 11 24

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure....i miss tinkering on my website, i miss drawing, i miss writing, i miss my hobbies and i miss chatting with my friends on discord!!!! but i've been so tired since ive started this job nearly a month ago!!! im feeling pent up and a lil crazy since i havent been able to dabble in my hobbies u_u

on another note, someone told me that my office (pictured above) looks like a Claire's but i took it as a compliment lol. i need to be surrounded by cute things so i don't go insane in a windowless office...

oct 23 24

i want to draw so bad, i want to draw so so soooo bad but i am always tired lately. im starting to understand my job a bit more, so im feeling better and that dark heavy cloud hanging over my head is slowly dissipating. i still have lots left to learn but at least now i don't feel 100% lost (just 80% lol) making the move over into finance was a pretty crazy move on my part as the queen of complacency and comfort but i think it'll be worth it. the money alone is tbh...

oct 16 24

im so overwhelmed, theres so much to learn in my new job...im feeling regret over leaving my easy-peasy job but i know i'll get over it in a few weeks when i feel more knowledgeable and comfortable. im just not familiar with these programs, vernacular, or what all my job entails at this point (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠) my boss showed me some things but i immediately forgot everything by lunch time. its my first day of actual training (earlier this week was just orientation and paperwork) so i know its normal to feel so anxious but i hate it. im gonna call my mom later and just chat with her so i can calm down... sometimes a girl just needs her mom

oct 10 24

how much aura will i lose if i cry on my last day tomorrow? even though this place has given me some absolutely miserable times, i'm gonna miss this place. it became my second home. i'm gonna miss the cool and based ladies i've gotten to know :( i'm scared of having to learn a new job and make new connections but i can do it. i just know it

oct 05 24

i finally watched the deadpool & wolverine movie. it was pretty good but my biggest complaint is channing tatum as gambit. gambit was my husbando when i was like 8-12 years old LMAO he's so ugly (sorry...) my inner child was crying. i'm going to draw fanart and animefy him just bc i can.

oct 04 24

i have 5 working days left at my current job so i'm cleaning out my work desk today. i found a lot of old pencil drawings i did over the years when i would have some down time at work. i feel like going digital made me improve but also regress in different ways. lame.......... (i'm going to buy a sketchbook this weekend.)

sept 30 24

waiting by the window for my dolls to come home...i finally pulled the trigger and bought the suigintou pullip i've been eyeing for years. ticchan was an impulse buy but i'm very excited to have her home at the end of the year! i am also searching for the perfect bjd to make into my beloved Charlotte. i know i plaster Milky everywhere and she's kind of my mascot, but charlotte really is my #1 fave oc and she deserves a doll!!!!

sept 28 24

i got ugly man psyopped i'm actually reading ghoulcy fanfic I HATE MYSELF!!!! i'm going to blame it on being so bored with the current fandoms i'm in. ff fandoms always suck.

jjk just ended and well. yeah... no comment on the ending, i knew going in that the series was just an okay-ish shonen romp but geez...

sept 27 24

quickly re-did my microblog because i need a place to jot down quick thoughts and i refuse to use xitter for more than fandom garbo.

july 1 24

i love creating dark and vengeful women because i want my own revenge too