currently...

dec 10 24

go figure....the thing to break me out of my art block is drawing a cutie. i love drawing girls so much...i think this is gonna turn out sooo good but i can't share it until the due date ;v;

dec 04 24

i've always known that i am not a flexible person. i don't "go with the flow" like ever. i'm one of those itinerary-needed-even-on-vacation types of people. one of the things that drives me nuts about my new work place is the lack of (strict) rules and regulations - people don't even follow the dresscode. im going crazy because there are guidelines for my job that have to be followed - well, except in this case. and that case. oh! but we need to follow them in THIS case. .......apparently i need structure and rules to thrive because as i get more comfy in my job and able to work on my own..the more unsettled i feel..
/(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

nov 11 24

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure....i miss tinkering on my website, i miss drawing, i miss writing, i miss my hobbies and i miss chatting with my friends on discord!!!! but i've been so tired since ive started this job nearly a month ago!!! im feeling pent up and a lil crazy since i havent been able to dabble in my hobbies u_u

on another note, someone told me that my office (pictured above) looks like a Claire's but i took it as a compliment lol. i need to be surrounded by cute things so i don't go insane in a windowless office...

oct 23 24

i want to draw so bad, i want to draw so so soooo bad but i am always tired lately. im starting to understand my job a bit more, so im feeling better and that dark heavy cloud hanging over my head is slowly dissipating. i still have lots left to learn but at least now i don't feel 100% lost (just 80% lol) making the move over into finance was a pretty crazy move on my part as the queen of complacency and comfort but i think it'll be worth it. the money alone is tbh...

oct 16 24

im so overwhelmed, theres so much to learn in my new job...im feeling regret over leaving my easy-peasy job but i know i'll get over it in a few weeks when i feel more knowledgeable and comfortable. im just not familiar with these programs, vernacular, or what all my job entails at this point (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠) my boss showed me some things but i immediately forgot everything by lunch time. its my first day of actual training (earlier this week was just orientation and paperwork) so i know its normal to feel so anxious but i hate it. im gonna call my mom later and just chat with her so i can calm down... sometimes a girl just needs her mom

oct 10 24

how much aura will i lose if i cry on my last day tomorrow? even though this place has given me some absolutely miserable times, i'm gonna miss this place. it became my second home. i'm gonna miss the cool and based ladies i've gotten to know :( i'm scared of having to learn a new job and make new connections but i can do it. i just know it

oct 05 24

i finally watched the deadpool & wolverie movie. it was pretty good but my biggest complaint is channing tatum as gambit. gambit was my husbando when i was like 8-12 years old LMAO he's so ugly (sorry...) my inner child was crying. i'm going to draw fanart and anime-fy him just bc i can.

oct 04 24

i have 5 working days left at my current job so i'm cleaning out my work desk today. i found a lot of old pencil drawings i did over the years when i would have some down time at work. i feel like going digital made me improve but also regress in different ways. lame.......... (i'm going to buy a sketchbook this weekend.)

sept 30 24

waiting by the window for my dolls to come home...i finally pulled the trigger and bought the suigintou pullip i've been eyeing for years. ticchan was an impulse buy but i'm very excited to have her home at the end of the year! i am also searching for the perfect bjd to make into my beloved Charlotte. i know i plaster Milky everywhere and she's kind of my mascot, but charlotte really is my #1 fave oc and she deserves a doll!!!!

sept 28 24

i got ugly man psyopped i'm actually reading ghoulcy fanfic I HATE MYSELF!!!! i'm going to blame it on being so bored with the current fandoms i'm in. ff fandoms always suck.

jjk just ended and well. yeah... no comment on the ending, i knew going in that the series was just an okay-ish shonen romp but geez...

sept 27 24

quickly re-did my microblog because i need a place to jot down quick thoughts and i refuse to use xitter for more than fandom garbo.